sleepless holiday nights

I get out of bed and slam the door open. "Its Christmas!" I yell as I run down to the tree. But Im the only one awake and the only one there. A black hole opens up in the ground and swallows me. I land in a pit of darkness all alone. I scream for help but nobody answers. All I have is me...the only person to care and love. Then my dog comes...my best friend in the entire world. She licks my face and stands by my side. Her golden fur protects me from the cold. Then I remembered...she is dead.

That is one of my most unforgettable nightmares. I had it when I was 10...when Spyro was born but not yet mine. My dog, Nalah had been my best friend since I was five. She was a beautiful German Shepherd x Chow Chow and looked very similar to the one in the picture (except more of a gold color). Was she really dead? I dont know. My dad dropped her off in a field in Rio Linda. She came home six months after that but went missing soon after. Do I believe my parents that she just left again? Not quite...especially because I believed I saw her again....but then convinced myself that she wasnt coming home...that she was gone. But thats ok...I had a new friend...a puppy I called my son and still do to this day. My nightmares arent any more or less drastic nowadays...for they always seem to be at their worst during this time of year. But now none of my old pets haunt me in them.

I really really hate Christmas...well not really.

So when I was much younger, Christmas wasnt too bad. Wake up early, get parents up, open presents.

Then my family became very materialistic. They would break out into arguments because one wanted to splurge during the holidays.

Now...I hardly see one and the other just yells at me.

=

So I tend to get depressed around Christmas. What will happen this year? Will there be more arguments?

when can I escape

I have decided that when I become a parent Christmas will probably the mass giving of needed items XD

and purely a family holiday =]

It will probably be a mix between Wiccan Yule and Christmas (or both because Yule traditionally is December 21st)

Either way...the house will smell DAMN GOOD ^_^

Read More..

the best worst day ever

Well...yesterday I mean.

So my ankle is showing signs of being sprained...so it hurts a lot.

Mom took off with my house keys as I found out later that night. I didnt get to see F12 play =[

So I went out to go shopping with grandma, mom and some of her friends...but fell asleep in the car. They started out in Wal Mart...they were in there for like 5 hours (no joke) and then went to the dollar tree and stayed in there for two hours!!! WTF. So yeah I was in the car the entire time. Then they went to target...where I completely lost track of the time but watched a lady hit a shopping cart O.o

Then grandpa clogged the toilet and everyone blamed it on me....EFF YOU GUYS.

And the rest of the week was shitty but I did what adam said...which is to think of something good when everything sucks. So I did...and ended up in this odd ecstatic state full of magical feelings (roll back to the time when adam and me first kissed...ho snap)

So what made this day so great? Well first I was in Mocospace forums (mocospace...Im guessing stands for mobile community...its a lot like myspace) and this chick had an abortion and was asking for some comfort. Almost everyone attacked her so I told her to go to passboards (an abortion support place...that actually is more like a general womans forum but focuses on abortions). She thanked me and...well that made me feel super good inside =]

Then I went home. My toilet had this monsterous clog...(Im thinking from my brother playing in there and flushing stuff down the toilet). Toilet was down for a week. Guess who beat it yesterday? *sound FFVII victory theme* woohoo! The only problem now is that the flush is scary. When you pull the handle large bubbles are like "bloop bloop" and it makes a scary noise. Also we have a raised foundation and you can feel it when the toilet flushes XD

Read More..